The Never-Ending Song
Back to Bonanza Dreaming - Back to Giggly Sister Stories
Early one March morning, just as the sun was rising over the mountains
surrounding Lake Tahoe, keen-eared viewers could hear the peace of the Ponderosa
shattered by an unearthly sound. The eerie noise permeated each and every corner
of the spacious ranch house, even reaching those rooms that were in the middle
of moving around in a manner calculated to confuse casual visitors.
“Not again!” Joe groaned, pulling the candlewick bedspread over his head, in a
vain effort to try to muffle the cacophony. Unfortunately, his sticky-out ears
meant that he was unable to create a perfect seal, so the soundproofing
qualities of the fabric were rendered negligible.
In the corner of Joe’s room, the small, shaggy figure of Paw bear, the Giggly
Sisters’ faithful companion, twitched agitatedly in his sleep. The wee furry
animal always bedded down in a corner, reasoning that right angles remained at
90 degrees, even when rooms rotated in an uncontrolled and highly confusing
fashion. Paw had abstracted a copy of Euclid from the bookcase in Adam’s bedroom
(a little seen location, which excited considerable discussion in certain
quarters). The bear had derived considerable comfort from reading the theories
and principles of geometry. However, this knowledge offered precious little
protection against the assault on his eardrums and a particularly piercing
vibrato had the little bear sitting up on his haunches and howling in pain.
“Dadburnit!” The hearty tones of Hoss were guaranteed to rouse anyone who was
still asleep. “Adam what’s wrong with you?” he demanded, heaving himself out of
bed, and crossing the hall to throw open his brother’s bedroom door with
stunning accuracy. “That last note were awful!”
Distracted, Adam twanged a most discord note on the guitar, and glared at Hoss.
“That last note was perfect,” he responded, in a hurt tone. “Remember, I had
singing lessons.”
By now, the whole family were peering into his room. The Giggly Sisters were
clad in most alluring cashmere dressing gowns, which were much nicer than the
scary maroon one that Ben habitually wore.
“Singing lessons or not,” said the redhead, “that last note was decidedly
sharp!” She shook her vibrant tresses. “Why did you have singing lessons?”
“I have a very nice voice,” Adam said. “It would have been a shame to waste it.”
The sisters exchanged glances at this. They were both musical, but neither of
them had had to have singing lessons. Indeed, the redhead had a glorious top
soprano voice, and was facing an important audition for a solo in Fauré’s
Requiem, and had been practicing like mad. Perhaps this was what had inspired
Adam to rouse the household.
There was another haunting wail from behind the sisters, and they all belatedly
realised that the sound hadn’t come from Adam at all! It had been Paw!
"That bear's ruining my concentration!" Adam said, launching into yet another
chorus of "Early One Morning." It was his favourite song and he loved to
accompany himself on the guitar. Hoss looked rather fretful as he recalled his
brief foray into the world of music. Only Hop Sing had appreciated his unusual
talent for the violin, while Pa and Joe and been downright rude about it, even
going so far as to sleep in the barn.
"Why did you wear that halter around your head in Maestro Hoss?" asked the
blonde, but Joe didn't want to talk about it, although he blushed bright red.
"And whatever happened to your double bass, Hoss?" the redhead enquired
cheerily.
"I musta misplaced it, for it just plumb disappeared one day. You'd kinda think
it was difficult to loose a big ol’ thing like that, but…" Hoss shook his head
sadly, while Joe and Ben looked like guilty schoolboys caught scrumping apples.
Just to introduce a little variety, Adam segued neatly into "Sweet Betsy from
Pike", another all-time favourite of the Cartwright family. Paw rolled over onto
his back and his wee feet twitched convulsively, as though he was in extreme
pain. Although it was still dark, the blonde noticed that the curtains were not
drawn, although the blind was pulled down. It did seem to be slightly excessive
to have a blind, net curtains and a pair of curtains at one window and she
wondered if the Cartwrights used curtains for decorative, rather than
utilitarian purposes, as they always seemed to be open. Maybe Ben was reluctant
to spend too much money on fripperies?
The redhead nudged her sister in the ribs and added, "Ever wondered why they
have net curtains in the first place? The Ponderosa's in the middle of nowhere,
after all! Who could possibly see in through the windows?"
Another interesting thought occupied the blonde: did the curtains move around
merrily with the rest of the furniture when Joe's bedroom went off on another
exciting trip or stay where they were or even change into a brand-new pair
instead? She'd have to pay more attention in future.
Joe looked rather forlorn and disconsolate, for alone of the brothers, he had
never had the opportunity to have music lessons. The redhead sensed this, and
patted his arm. It felt so nice that she squeezed it, too. “Don’t worry,” she
assured him. “You have a really nice singing voice. Did I ever tell you my
mythical husband thought you were Elvis?”
“Really?” Joe said, sounding impressed. He had no idea who Elvis was, but the
redhead made it sound really good. “Wow!”
“That’s true,” said the blonde. “So don’t worry about not having had music
lessons. Not everyone needs them. After all, apart from learning to play piano,
I didn’t have singing lessons, either.”
“We could have a musical evening,” suggested Ben eagerly. “We could hire a
piano, and you girls could play and sing, and Adam could do his turn, too. I’m
sure the ranch hands would love it.”
The sisters exchanged glances at this. The thought of having to listen to Adam
droning on was quite disturbing. And the redhead had her audition to worry
about. “Why the ranch hands?” asked Hoss. “They wasn’t too pleased when they had
to listen to me. They don’t understand culture at all.”
“Quite right, Hoss,” said the redhead, and Hoss blushed with pleasure. The
redhead wouldn’t have described Hoss’s rendition of “Home Sweet Home” as
culture, but she was sure she wasn’t going to be singing to the ranch hands.
Adam was now on verse 4 of "Sweet Betsy from Pike" and Paw was rolling his eyes
until only the whites showed. Joe was still rather upset that he appeared to
have suffered on the musical education front. "It's not fair! Why was I the only
one not to get some sort of music lessons?"
Hoss raised an eyebrow quizzically, but Joe was on a roll now and there was no
stopping him. "Don't look so innocent, Hoss! You obviously had music lessons,
because you were able to read sheet music when you got that violin, weren't
you?"
Adam was a little perturbed that none of his family were displaying much
interest in his unique vocal stylings and felt that he had done very well not to
be distracted by Paw's histrionics. However, Joe's petted lip was the final
straw.
"We tried!" he said testily. "Heaven knows, we tried!"
Ben felt it best to intervene. "We lowered the music stand as far as it would go
son, but it was still too high for you for you to see the notes clearly."
"You always were a bit shorter than the rest of us," Hoss added, less than
helpfully.
A sudden silence fell, broken only by the blonde stating "Small, but perfectly
formed," in tones that brooked no argument. Adam reached the end of his song,
whereupon Paw gave a sudden, gasping breath, righted himself and trotted over to
Joe for a consoling hug.
"Why is that bear wearing a bib?" Ben asked, faintly dreading the answer. He was
not disappointed when Joe replied, laconically "Because he's teething." As
non-sequiturs went, this was a beauty.
It was now almost breakfast time and it looked as if it was going to be a
beautiful day. Ben went downstairs and into the yard, where he enjoyed the
magnificent spectacle of a stock-shot of the rising sun. He did admire the way
in which these clever boys in post-production used these technical innovations,
which saved so much time and money. And, let’s face it, they knew the viewers
would never notice.
"Pa?" Adam's voice aroused Ben from his reveries. "When are you going to tell
Joe? You can't keep it a secret forever you know. One of these days, he'll find
out and there’ll be trouble!”
"I know, I know!" Ben said desperately. "It seemed like such a good idea at the
time and I'm sure that's where he got the necessary skills to do his swing mount
from."
Adam crossed his arms and stared long and hard at his father. "Oh, I've no doubt
Joe has benefitted immensely, but I still maintain he's not going to be happy to
learn that while Hoss and I had music lessons, he was learning ballet!"
“Ballet?” Joe repeated faintly, having followed his father and brother out of
the house. He looked horrified.
The sisters exchanged significant glances, and both took a closer look at Joe’s
taut, pert, butt. It really was quite difficult to concentrate, but they managed
it. “That explains it,” they chorused. “That’s why his butt and legs are so
stunning.”
Joe looked round at his butt as best he could. “Is it?” he asked.
“Oh, no question. Ballet dancers have the best butts in the world.” The redhead
nodded knowingly. She goosed Joe briskly.
Perhaps ballet lessons weren’t so bad, Joe thought. And since the girls liked
his butt… He squared his shoulders. “Shall I teach you some pliés, Adam?” he
asked, innocently. “It does wonders for the size of your behind.”
The End
Giggly Sisters Productions
March 2003